femboy things
recon when i wrote my review on the original monster, yea. so here is this
im old, like halla old ( your 70 + femboy). actually just out of touch 20yo. so we gotta know what the kids are up to; i dont even think these monster tastes are new, but since they ran a discount we got em anyways.
Ultra paradise
mhm, alright. can is green, and to no surprise it tastes like sour apple. anything else? yes carbonated. thats all. there is no more sophistication to this. its a plain taste in a water.
looking at the back of the can, im surprised to find maltodextrin and e102 + e133;
uhm so, maltodextrin is a thiccener, its given to old people in hospitals so they dont chock on plain water. im not quite sure whom they target their drinks at but my previous understanding was edgy 14yo gaymers.
Tartrazine (kewl name) e102 and brilliant blue e133 are both made of petrol. i do hope kennedy jr is going to ban these colorants, and the reason should be obvious. juicy petrol.
Top speed zero sugar
so continuing witht the colorants we have Tartrazine and Allura Red also petrol derived. the taste is slightly better than the Ultra paradise to me. Why ? It doesn’t tast as sharp and sour. its still apple somehow. or a very plain taste of apple, being less sour. there isnt more to it , and after 500ml i.e. 1can i didnt got much more out of the taste.
noticeably walking home, **buuuuuuurp** kinda reminded me of a pain killer in terms of taste. so thats the combination of the two in the stummy coming up. since pain killers are not about any great taste either, it does not surprise me. I assume they bought a similar or the same pre-mix of the flavorant.
in sum
they are funny as a reference for tastes (primarily apple), but dont offer anything. i dont know what else to say/write.
they could have removed the maltodextrin from the thing, and saved on that. why? monster white does not have any, and others dont either. there is no benefit in terms of food chemistry to this. unless they really do intend to sell this to a particular audience.
for the colors, they could have used spirulina. it is instantly green and does not needs to be a mix of red (E129) and blue (E133) to get green. its food chemical nonsense and could be reduced to one single non-petrol compound. So im not impressed by what they are doing
1. tastes are plain
2. maltodextrin is not needed
3. color theory idk, why make an unhealthy problem